Laser Cut & 3D Printed Goods With A Bite

Handmade Stuff For Grown-Ups
Who Still Have A Filthy Sense Of Humor

Every piece starts as a bad idea we refused to abandon. One half beak, one half tooth, one hundred percent not appropriate for your in-laws.

Browse The Shop Request A Custom Order

Who's Behind The Beak

Part Screaming Bird. Part Stubborn Dog. Fully Unhinged.

Beak & Tooth LLC was founded on the two most reliable sources of chaos in our house: a Jenday Conure with zero volume control and an Australian Shepherd who has opinions about everything, including you. One gave us the beak. One gave us the tooth. Together they gave us a brand.

We run laser cutters and 3D printers instead of therapy sessions, turning stubborn ideas into wood, acrylic, and PLA that says the quiet part loud. If you want soft, minimalist, "live laugh love" home decor, this probably isn't your flock. If you want something that makes your friends laugh and your grandmother clutch her pearls, welcome home.

  • Small batch. Designed, cut, and printed in-house — not dropshipped, not mass produced.
  • Adults only humor. Snarky, sarcastic, occasionally feral. You've been warned.
  • Built to last. Sanded, finished, and sealed so your bad decisions look good for years.

The Goods

Shop The Flock

A first look at what's coming out of the workshop. Product photos landing soon — the snark is already fully loaded.

More landing in the shop every week. See the full flock on Etsy →

Got A Bad Idea?

Let's Make It Worse (In A Good Way)

Got a phrase your family definitely shouldn't put on a plaque? A pet that deserves its own unhinged silhouette? A gift for the one friend who has everything except a sense of shame? That's exactly what custom orders are for.

Fill out the details and it'll open a pre-filled email straight to us — no forms swallowed into the void, no waiting on a chatbot. We read every single one.

  • Turnaround: typically 1–2 weeks depending on queue
  • Materials: birch & acrylic (laser), PLA/PETG (3D print)
  • We'll confirm pricing and mockup before anything goes to production

Required field

This opens your email app with everything pre-filled — just hit send. We only receive what you send us; nothing is stored by this website.

Find Us

Where To Buy

Etsy Our full in-stock shop — ready to ship Visit Shop Shopify Custom orders & the full catalog Visit Store Direct / Custom Talk to us about a one-off order Start A Request →

Questions

Before You Ask

Depends on the recipient. Perfect for the sarcastic aunt, dicey for your boss. Read descriptions before gifting to anyone easily offended.

Shipping options and rates are set per listing on Etsy and Shopify — check the listing for your destination before ordering.

That's the whole point of the custom order section above. If it can be laser cut or printed, we'll at least try.

Laser cut items are typically birch plywood or acrylic. 3D printed items are PLA or PETG depending on the piece and its use.